I again apologize that it’s been such a long time since I
last blogged! Now that my spring semester is done I plan to blog more often. So
many things have been happening and I am so excited to share with you! I will jump right into it because I’ve been
just itching to share with all of YOU!!!
This past Tuesday, May 15th, I received an email from Amani Baby
Cottage. They informed me that my
application to volunteer for a week this summer has been ACCEPTED!!! It is
FINALLY CONFIRMED that I WILL BE VOLUNTEERING AT AMANI!!! I can’t even begin to
fully express just how EXCITED I AM! I
fell in love with Amani right away when we got there! Their atmosphere of loving and serving God
while caring for His precious children is absolutely beautiful!!! And…of
course, for those of you who have been following my experience this past year—Sweet
Richard is at Amani!! I can’t even comprehend what it will be like to SCOOP him
up into my ARMS again!!!! :) I am so excited to love and care for all of the
precious children at Amani, but the fact that I get to spend a full week with
Richard brings tears to my eyes.
For those of you who might not know or remember my Love
Story with Richard, I will quickly recap.
Last summer, I traveled to Africa. Before going to Africa I had so many
close family and friends share that they thought I would return from Africa as
a mom. When they mentioned these things, I smiled—but in my heart I just didn’t
think that would ACTUALLY happen. Yes, I have always wanted to adopt! I’ve had
this passion in my heart since I was in middle school…I always knew I wanted to
travel to Africa and I wanted to have a RAINBOW family! But before I left for
Africa last summer…I really didn’t think I would fall in love with a child that
I would feel so strongly about. First, Patrick and I aren’t even married yet…I
always thought we would start looking into the adoption process AFTER we were
married. Second, I was still going to school—how could I possibly adopt a child
and still have to finish school? These two main things were big and important
to me…so I just didn’t think anything would happen. I told myself, “Maybe within the next year or two, Patrick and I would really look into
adopting…but not right now. We aren’t ready or prepared.” But, at night…I would pray about this. I would pray about our upcoming trip and I
would pray that if God actually wanted me to be a mother and experience a love
like no other while I was in Africa…I needed Him to show me. After all, we will be visiting SO many
children—hundreds of children who need a mommy to love and care for them…how
could I possibly know which one I was supposed to have as a child? So yes God,
please SHOW me and make it obvious…that’s all I ask. If you have this planned
for me either way—I will follow Your leading, but I need to know WHICH CHILD it
is so that I can be confident in Your will.
So, this was my prayer for so many days and nights before
going to Africa. But let me remind you…I really didn’t think it was going to
happen! So we arrived to Africa and I was IN LOVE! Absolutely taken away by the
beauty of this continent and its people…And to be honest, it wasn’t like I was
just SEARCHING and LOOKING for that one child that would capture my heart…I
actually sort of forgot about it and was just taking everything in. But, it was
on our 3rd day in Africa that we went to Amani Baby Cottage…we arrived and as I
walked on the sidewalk, I stopped to admire some children that were on a mat
playing with some toys. We had JUST
arrived about 5 minutes ago—and I wanted to be respectful for the children and
for the staff. I didn’t want to just run right up to these children and come
across disrespectful to the nanny that was sitting and caring for them. So, with all my might…I stood there on the
sidewalk smiling and thinking how precious these children were. Then all of a
sudden, I turned my head and looked straight out in front of me…and wouldn’t
you know it…there was this little boy in a yellow onesie walking RIGHT FOR ME!
He had a little smile on his face and was seriously just
staring at me and walking directly towards me! I looked around and was like, “Oh my goodness—where did he come from?? How
come I didn’t notice him right away?”
I wanted to walk towards him and meet him half way…but I reminded myself
to be respectful, plus I thought, “If he
comes to me I can pick him up right? That would be alright, wouldn’t it?”
So he continued to walk…taking one wobbly step at a time. I wasn’t sure if he
would fall down or make it the whole way to me…but HE DID. He walked RIGHT to me! All of the girls on the team said, “Shanna! Look! He is walking RIGHT to you!!” I scooped him up in my arms and no lie…I felt
this instant connection.
It is so hard to explain really—but we shared a bond
instantly! I remember holding him and telling my team leader, “Ok…I am
complete!” So, to be quite honest…when I
picked him up and felt the connection…and when I realized that he found me first…I
was thinking, Wow…is this the child God?
Is THIS THE ONE? I felt certain it
was but I didn’t want to get overly excited. So I continued to hold and play
with this little boy. Next I asked the
nanny what his name was…and she looked at me and said, “Richard” and I just
smiled and thought…you are already named after your grandpa! My dad’s name is Alan Richard Bahn…and so
when I found out that his name was Richard I couldn’t get over it. I was seriously freaking out!! WOW—Was God really leading to Africa to find
my son? To fall in love with Richard?? Sometimes it’s so hard to fully
understand God’s ways and His plans…but I simply reminded myself to pray and to
follow His leading…which was exactly what I was doing. Then I had to set Richard down and can I just
tell you that we BOTH cried our eyes out.
It really is crazy because I’m one that doesn’t like to cry or always
show my emotions…but when I set Richard down it absolutely broke my heart…and
he lost it and was so upset—the nanny looked at Richard like what in the world
are you crying for? Why are you making such a big deal about this? So many
people come and visit and hold you and set you down—but why are you having this
type of reaction? And so when I saw how
great his emotions were…I lost it as well and began to cry like I had never
before. It was so crazy really—because I had no idea why my emotions and
feelings were so strong over this one child…after all, I had just met him.
So, that is our little love story. I met him on the 3rd
day I was in Africa and the rest of the trip I fell asleep looking at the
pictures I took of him on my camera and praying that God would show me the next
move…the next thing I was supposed to do.
I came home and honestly felt different—I felt like a mom. I cried and prayed over this so
many times…Some days I wasn’t sure if Richard was seriously my child…and other
days I woke up knowing without a doubt that I was a mom and that I was just
waiting for my child to come home! I came to the conclusion that if God’s
purpose was for Richard to be a part of our family, He would guide me and He
would continue to open up doors…I also decided that maybe Richard might not
officially become part of our family…But I couldn’t just make the decision
without fighting for him…I strongly believe that in order to find out, I have
to keep praying and keep following God’s leading. I decided that I would fight for him—after all,
mothers do this for their children…they fight for them no matter what…so this
is exactly what
I would do for Richard.
I have been laughed at when I tell people the connection
Richard and I had…I have been told that I was crazy—believing that God would
actually arrange an appointment like this…I have been told that it is pretty
much IMPOSSIBLE to adopt Richard since his grandmother would need to sign off
on the paper work and she simply will not do that. When I hear these type of
comments, I remind myself that GOD CAN…DOES…and WILL MOVE MOUNTAINS to bring
RICHARD HOME if this is HIS PLAN. I do
not pay attention to what some have to say about our Love Story—because I know
that God’s IN CONTROL of this situation and that His timing and plans are
ALWAYS perfect…not just sometimes…not just when it’s easy…but ALWAYS. So, yes,
maybe God’s plans don’t have Richard in my future—but until I know this and
fight for him 100% I will keep walking through the doors He opens…And just
think—maybe this is His plan for Richard to be a part of our family…how will I
know for sure if I just give up?
One of the things Patrick and I have been praying for is that
God would lead us to Richard’s grandma.
Richards mom passed away and his dad abandoned him even before he was
born. But Richard does have a grandmother that lives in Uganda so although he
doesn’t have parents to care for him—he is not considered a complete orphan
since his grandma is still living. So, when I called Amani and tried to get
more details about Richard and his situation, I was told that I would have to
connect with his grandma and she would have to sign-off on the papers—which is
pretty much impossible! I also found out that since his grandma is living he is
technically unadoptable but still has to live the rest of his precious life in
the “system.” When I heard these words I felt sick to my stomach… “What? Richard has a family—here in the U.S.
please don’t make him live the rest of his life without a family…we are right
here…waiting for him to come home” is what I thought. When I found out that
it was impossible I reminded myself to have faith like a child and that if God
wanted Richard to be with Patrick and I He would certainly MAKE IT POSSIBLE.
So, as I said, since returning from Africa, our prayer has been to somehow…someway
connect with Richard’s grandma. I
wondered, “What if they don’t even know
who she is? Or where she lives? How in
the world am I going to find this lady??”
A few months ago I had a friend send me a message and said, “Shanna,
I follow this blog and I think it’s about your
Richard!” I read it and was like “hmmm…there
are how many children in Africa—what are the odds that this blog is about my
Richard?” I clicked on the link she
sent me…and OH MY!!! OH MY OH MY!!! YES! …This blog was ALL about my RICHARD
and his Jaja (Grandma!) I couldn’t
believe it! …Actually, YES, yes I could believe it! God’s ways are perfect—certainly He heard my
prayers and knew how important it was for me to learn more about Richard’s
grandmother!!!! I was JUMPING with JOY
and in TEARS as I read this blog. I
found out that Richard’s grandma lives about 35 minutes away from Amani in a
small village. She also loves Richard so much that in order for her to fully
and completely love him, she has to let him go—meaning, she understands that he
is better off at Amani, even though she would love to have him live with her in
the village. Here is the link of the blog to read more about it!!!! This was a HUGE thing!!! I woke up the next
day and I was in Target ready to purchase a whole bedspread for Richard—so that
I could have it ready for him to come home!!:) This is seriously how BIG that
blog post was and is to our love story!!
Another door God has opened was leading me to Amani this
summer. I knew right away that I wanted
to go back to Africa, but this time I wanted to go for longer than 2
weeks. I was also torn because I wanted
to go back to Kenya to visit the precious kids at Fiwagoh and to see Duncan and
Grace…but I also wanted to go to Amani and visit Richard. My heart was torn and I didn’t know what to
do…I prayed about this and God confirmed that I needed to go back to Kenya. So
many of those kids have blessed me and I know how important it is to go back
and visit them…to show them I haven’t forgotten about them. I was (and AM) so
excited to love and visit them again! But I couldn’t imagine going all the way
to Africa and being so close to Richard and not even getting to see him! So, I
signed up for the Kenya mission trip and prayed that of it was God’s will that
He would open the doors needed and would bring me to see Richard. I emailed Amani and explained how I would
love to volunteer at Amani on July 28—August 4. The lady replied back and said
they were full, but since I was going to be so close she would see if she could
make an exception. I thought, well if this door closes and they are full, I
know God doesn’t want me to visit him this summer…but I thought, if it’s meant
to be Amani will reply back and say yes—there is room. I prayed and prayed…having peace in God’s
plans that no matter what happens, He is in control. Tuesday night I received the email and it is
CONFIRMED! God opened this door for me to go visit Richard and the rest of the
children at Amani…and I couldn’t be more thankful for His marvelous ways!!!
If you could pray for Richard and our love story I would
greatly appreciate it. I am so excited
to see him this summer but I know my heart is going to break having to say
good-bye to him again. I also would love to try and somehow connect with his
grandma. I don’t know what this would exactly look like—but if you could keep
this in your prayers that would mean so much to me!! Here are a few more pictures
I have come across of sweet little Richy!!:)
Haha! This picture just makes me LAUGH! He always has the one finger up!:)
Eating my crackers!:)
Thank you ALL for your LOVE, SUPPORT and PRAYERS!!! I want
you to know that your unconditional love and support has truly meant so much to
me!! I am confident that if this is God’s will…it WILL happen!! …So, I will
continue to PRAY HIM HOME!
